Well If It's Do Or Die
by PunkPinkPower
Summary: Four times Stiles friends offer to have sex with him to prevent his virgin sacrifice, and one time Stiles says yes.


_Lydia_

Lydia is nothing if not abrupt and to the point.

"Look," she says, throwing the door to his room open and coming inside, dropping her purse on the bed, "I think you're a good guy, Stiles, and I don't want you dead. I mean, I don't want anyone dead, save for maybe that witch of a Canadian guidance counselor and Derek's fucked up uncle," she continues, and she's undoing the buttons on her shirt, "And if I could sleep with the whole world and magically keep them all from dying, I would. Seeing as you're in immediate danger, though, you'll have to be today's good deed."

And then Lydia Martin is standing in Stiles' bedroom with her top off, and Stiles is just staring, at a loss.

Lydia snaps her fingers. "Stiles," she says firmly, "Are you with me here?"

Stiles shakes his head. "Maybe you should start over," he says, "from the beginning."

Lydia gives him a look that clearly says she thinks he's an idiot. "I'll try to use small words this time. You," she points to him, "Virgin. Me," she points to herself, "Solution."

Stiles' jaw drops. "Wait, are you saying," and he fumbles, stands up, does things in the air with his hands, "You want to have sex with me?"

"I'm saying I'll do it to save your life," Lydia says matter-of-factly, and then she comes over and starts undoing Stiles's belt. "Now look, I know you've never done this before," she says in a very patronizing tone, "But you can't do it with your pants on!"

Stiles dick twitches, it does, but then he's pulling Lydia's hands away from jeans and taking a deep breath because, wait, okay, Lydia Martin is in his room shirtless and he's fighting a furious war in his head between his brain and his body but dammit, his brain wins. "Look, Lydia, awe, what am I doing?" Stiles says as he takes a step back from her to compose himself. "This would be a pity fuck, wouldn't it?"

Lydia tilts her head, considering. "I suppose you could call it that, yeah."

"Then," Stiles puts his hands on his hips, makes a face, tries to understand himself as he says, "I can't. I appreciate it and I will be forever grateful to you for offering but… that's just, it isn't how I want my first time to be."

Lydia's eyebrows go up. "You're turning me down?"

"I imagine that doesn't happen much," Stiles agrees, and he folds his arms, begs his body to cooperate with his very rational brain.

"No," Lydia agrees, but then she shrugs and picks up her shirt and bag from the bed. "Well okay, but if you end up dead, no one can say I didn't try," and she walks out of his room and shuts the door behind her.

What is the matter with him? He's just given up his one chance at having sex with Lydia Martin… and he's not actually as bummed out as he thinks he should be.

_Isaac_

Stiles doesn't expect Isaac to be friendly with him much. So when Isaac offers to partner with Stiles in their chemistry lab instead of with Scott, Stiles is immediately suspicious.

Only Isaac sits down next to him and is perfectly cordial, and like the young wolf he is, he waits for Stiles to let his guard down before he says, "So I hear you have a small problem."

Stiles fumbles the glass of boric acid, miraculously keeps any of it from spilling on himself, and gives Isaac the stink eye. "I wouldn't call it little, exactly," he says defensively, and Isaac smiles.

"That's not what I meant," he says, and he sounds genuinely apologetic, "I'm sure you're proportionate. What I meant was," and Isaac slides his hand up Stiles thigh and Stiles lets out an absolutely strangled noise at the shock of it, "That you are a man with needs, and so am I."

Stiles sets down the boric acid, and then very carefully removes Isaac's hand from his thigh. "Okay, this has got to be the strangest chemistry class I've ever been in. What could you possibly gain by offering to take my virginity?"

Isaac shrugs, looking decidedly nonchalant, and then he glances quickly over his shoulder at Scott, who is working with Danny and smiling and laughing. "You're really important to Scott," he says, and Stiles hardens his jaw, "And if something happened to you, Scott would be sad. I like to keep Scott happy."

Stiles frowns at him. "So you're offering to sleep with me for Scott?" He asks, and Isaac just looks perfectly calm and ridiculous at the same time. "That's… benevolent of you."

Isaac quirks an eyebrow and shifts away from Stiles, going back to the chemistry lesson and says, "Whatever," before tossing that ridiculous scarf over his shoulder.

_Scott_

"Hey," Scott says, coming into Stiles room and sitting down on the bed, "Isaac told me about what he said to you. I'm sorry, bro, I had no idea he was going to get weird on you when I told him about the virgin sacrifices."

Stiles turns to Scott with a look of annoyance. "You had no idea Isaac was going to get weird? Really? Isaac is practically the definition of weird! I mean, that and inappropriate social interactions seem to be the guys specialty!"

Scott holds up his hands. "Hey, he was just trying to help."

Stiles rolls his eyes, shakes his head around, waves his hands in the air. "Why is everyone in Beacon Hills so intent on helping me lose my virginity like I can't do it myself?"

Scott frowns. "Everyone? Who else offered?"

And Stiles slinks down in his seat. "Lydia," he answers dejectedly.

Scott guffaws. "Yeah, right!" He hoots, and then at Stiles continued slouch says, "Oh my god, you refused Lydia?"

"Yeah," Stiles says, "So you can see how Isaac isn't on the top of my list, either."

Scott is silent for a long moment, and then he looks uncomfortable as he says, "Stiles, I mean… this guy is going after virgins. You need to do it with someone, you know?"

Stiles groans. He knows, he does, he is totally aware of the situation. He just… his sex drive has never been lower than the one time when everyone in Beacon Hills is trying to get in his pants.

"Do you think…" Scott says, and he fidgets, "Like, mutual masturbation would count?"

Stiles slams a hand against his forehead. "That's just, no, not something I ever wanted to picture, thanks bro."

"Well," Scott continues, and he seems really relieved, "What about Allison? She's really good."

"Pretty sure you'd eviscerate me on principle, Scott, if I tried to even get close to her," Stiles grins at his friend, who seems to consider this and nods. "Look, man, I'll deal with it, I will. I'll figure something out."

Scott nods, and Stiles turns back to his computer while Scott sits quietly on his bed.

Then, after a few moments of silence, Scott says, "There's always my mom."

"Get out," Stiles says, pointing to the door and not looking behind him, "Now."

_Peter_

Surprisingly, Peter is the least creepy out of anyone that offers.

"I promise not to wolf out on you in the middle and tear your throat out," Peter says conversationally, flipping through a magazine, his feet propped up on Derek's living room table.

Stiles actually laughs. "Werewolves," he says to himself, folding his arms and pinching his nose. "That's actually probably the most sincere thing anyone has said to me all day, thanks Peter, but no thanks."

Peter shrugs. "You could try Boyd," he says conversationally, "But be careful, once you go black-"

"I expected more," Stiles interrupts him, actually kind of amused, "I mean, you are usually the sassiest person I know, you can outdo me in the sass department, and you resort to 'Once you go black, you never go back'?"

Peter looks like Stiles has just challenged him, and he can't decide what to do. On the one hand, here's this scrawny kid that annoys him to no end, Stiles thinks, but on the other, he sometimes seems like he's actually starting to respect Stiles for his sass.

Peter goes back to reading his magazine, and Stiles goes over to the kitchen, picks up an apple, bites into it.

"There's always Cora," Peter says after a few moments, and his face looks deceptively neutral. "I hear she's very wild."

"Shut up, Peter," Derek's voice rings down the stairs as he comes down with Isaac, and Peter just sits there, looking smug. Stiles can't believe Peter gets away with talking like that about Cora in front of Derek. It's as though he'd timed that comment to precisely when Derek was within range.

Derek comes over to Stiles, takes the apple out of his hand, takes a bite, and hands it back to him.

"Look, I know you were raised by wolves and everything," Stiles starts, and he tosses the apple at the back of Derek's head, "But come on, that's just rude!"

Derek just smirks.

_Derek_

The meeting is full of virgin jokes at Stiles expense. They're gathering everything they know about the virgin sacrifices and the alphas and other possible suspects, and Stiles has snuck his father's case file there and all he gets in thanks are numerous jokes about his sexual proficiency.

Derek, at least, seems disinterested in discussing Stiles' virginity. Every time someone makes a comment, he just says their name in an authoritative tone, and they shut up without Stiles having to do much else.

It's actually kind of nice to not have to defend himself all night.

Afterward, he sticks around when everyone files out to say thanks. "Thanks for not letting everyone pick on me all night," Stiles tells him, walking backwards towards the door, "I mean, I can handle it, but, still, that was cool."

Derek looks at him, looks back down at the police file he'd been studying. "It's not funny. They shouldn't be making jokes in the first place. You're in serious danger, Stiles."

Stiles tilts his head, grins at the alpha. "Awe, you know, you're getting really good at that, you almost sound like you care."

Derek looks up at him with raised eyebrows and a very miniscule frown. "I do care."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Right, yeah, because I'm important to Scott and if Scott loses me he won't be any good to any of you guys, right, I heard that one already."

Derek steps away from the table, steps towards Stiles with a strange look on his face. "That's not why I care."

Stiles pauses, considers. "Then, wait, why do you?"

Derek's frown deepens. He hesitates. "I care about what happens to you, idiot."

Stiles opens his mouth to retort, but the look on Derek's face is a little wounded, and he can't bring himself to say anything, so he closes his mouth. A long minute goes by, and finally Stiles can't help it. He asks, "You do?"

Derek takes a few more steps forward. "I wouldn't keep risking my life to save yours if I didn't."

Stiles considers that, brings his arms, up, tries to do something that doesn't look ridiculous with them. "How much," Stiles says as casually as he can, "Would you say you care, like, on a scale of 'Let me drown for payback' to 'Take my virginity to save my life'?"

Derek raises his eyebrows, and that little amused grin he sometimes gives Stiles when Stiles is being ridiculous is playing on his lips.

"Yeah, alright, never mind, forget I asked," Stiles says, and he smiles, lets himself laugh a little bit at the awkward. There's a hard feeling in the pit of his stomach, though, a sort of sour disappointment.

"Stiles," Derek says, and he steps forward until they're a lot closer than Stiles is comfortable with, "We can. If you want. I don't mind."

Stiles fumbles his words because that… that is actually the offer he's been waiting for, he thinks. The one where someone wants his opinion about whether or not he wants to sleep with them, instead of just assuming he should want to because he's a virgin. It's… well, it's very Derek, isn't it? "Really?"

Derek nods, just once. "I've done stranger things to save your life."

And Stiles laughs. "You know that's probably actually pretty true," he jokes, and then he fidgets because, yeah, okay, Derek Hale has just agreed to sleep with him and Stiles is apparently all in and this is it, this is the thing.

Derek puts a firm hand on his shoulder, gives it a squeeze, and Stiles drops his hands to his sides, let's Derek pull him in closer and rub their cheeks together, and Derek is smelling him, and Stiles feels so off balance, like the world is spinning and all he has is his sarcasm.

"So is this going to be like a, 'no kissing on the lips' situation because-" Stiles is saying in an unsteady voice, but Derek cuts him off but turning his head and locking their lips together.

And it's all Stiles can do to grab at Derek's shirt with one hand, reach out and tug on Derek's belt loop with the other, and kiss back.

Derek brings him closer, runs a hand up under his shirt and makes Stiles shiver, fists his other hand in Stiles' too-long hair, makes Stiles moan. He pulls away just enough to rotate Stiles toward the bed, and he whispers, "You're going to be fine, don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you."

Stiles gulps, feels himself pulsing with the anticipation, and he lets out a noise of agreement along with, "That's reassuring."

Derek grins that small, amused grin that let's Stiles know Derek actually thinks he's funny, and something bursts in Stiles chest, some happy little moment of understanding, and then Derek kisses him again, hard and fast and warm and wonderful.

And if Stiles embarrassed himself by letting his mouth run all night long, well. Derek doesn't seem to mind being likened to a god over and over.

_+1 Boyd_

Boyd offers the next Tuesday. It's awkward and clumsy, but Stiles is able to hold his hand up and smile warmly. "Thanks buddy, appreciate it, but I got that taken care of."

Boyd raises his eyebrows, looks Stiles up and down, and offers him a fist bump. "Cool. Good for you, man."

And yeah, Stiles thinks with a grin, good for him.


End file.
